all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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