what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
