i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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