and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize