i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
