Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
