Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize