Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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