Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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