I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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