Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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