i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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