in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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