im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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