I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
