then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.