So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize