Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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