dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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