Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
