Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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