i need an iv and a liver transplant
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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