But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
