What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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