he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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