ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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