Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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