A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
look no pants
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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