You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
