dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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