just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
