playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
