Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
