is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize