Girls should come with a carfax report
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
