yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
