in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
