Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
