id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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