oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
