you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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