Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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