Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sober January is a disaster.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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