thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
