My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
