Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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