i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
