420 ftw
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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