so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
