I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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