if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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