Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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