Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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