Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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