Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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