I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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