Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
