Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
