At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
