do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
