It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize