idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
